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The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I don't know if I can actually say,  what I'm feeling is "anticlimatic" or not.  I know I feel all of the last two weeks stress all of a sudden.  I guess during the time I was getting ready for my interview I was too pumped up on adrenaline to notice how freaked out I was.  

I put everything that I could, at this point of my life.  If it doesn't go my way then I will realize that I am not ready to take on that position.  I feel that I am and I want it so bad I can taste it, but It is now out of my hands.  All the signs have been pointing to my getting this job so I can finally start my career.  I just don't know.  I couldn't read the situation.  There are so many variables involved in the process.  I know I bombed on a question or two and I should've added some info at the end, but choked and didn't.  Still, as far as I know, there is hope.  Now I just need to figure out a way to remember the interviewer's names to send the thank you notes, I forgot to write them down and that is a, must-do-step!  

I guess after all is said and done I did come away from this experience with some great things.  My confidence increased by 100%.  I collected a settlement on my judgement.  I know,  for a fact, I could've collected the full amount, but I needed the money now.  The main point is that I collected on it, myself with no help.  I also got as far as an interview with the county and that is a BIG accomplishment in itself.  I have a goal and I went for it with everything I could.  I took my shot for all it was worth.  I didn't back down.  I am proud of myself.  Now I need to keep the faith and wait for the decision which will give me an idea of which direction my life will go in. 

If all of that wasn't good enough, my bf found learned how to do something really nice with his mouth.  It doesn't get better than this.


Ok, Ok, Ok!  OMG!!! I am so close.  I got "the call" last night.  My resume scored high enough for me to get a call back from the county!  I will have an interview for the job of my dreams.  They are sending me the date and time.  I, for sure,  got a spot for one.  I still can't quite believe it.   I am so nervous.  I cannot blow it.  That is just not an option.  Interviewing has never been one of my strengths, but this is off the hook scary.  There will be a "panel."  The senior analyst for hr in that department e-mailed me interview tips, etc.  I will be studying like crazy.  I have about a week to prepare.  Like I said, not getting this job is not an option.  This is what I've worked 10 years for.  God, the presure.  I need to buy a suit and get my hair done.  Don't have the $$$$.  I have been in contact with the asshole who I have the judgement against, and he wants to settle.   He is still the biggest jerk off alive.  I agreed to settle for $2600 but he hasn't called back on that and now I really need that $$ more than ever.  If I don't hear from him by today, I can pretty much expect to have to wait much longer to get the money he owes me and I will also have to try and figure out how I am going to fund my "get ready for one of the biggest days of my life" cause.  I have so much nervous energy that I do believe the laundry will get done today :)  I so hope that asshole calls me today.  I think I'll go and walk a mile or so to work up a good sweat and get some endorphins flowing. 

Stressed Out

I am starting to feel the presure.  I know I have two options at this point.  I can let it pull me down into the blackness for a bit or I can stand up and face it.  Facing it is always better.  The only thing is that facing it is a litte harder at first.  I go back and forth like a ship at sea.  I always complain about that, but I am starting to think that I am secretly addictied to that feeling.  I am addicted to everything in my life to some extent.  I have an opportunity to take on a "course" with a life coach via tele-conference, pro-bono.  I am starting to chicken out of that.  The ironic thing is that I am the one who sought her out and made the request.  I guess I'll just have to go to sleep tonight not really knowing which way I am going to take myself  tomarrow.   On the up side I do have plans with my boyfriend to go and see Shrek The Third on saturday.  If I don't let myself get pulled down we should be able to enjoy eachother for the weekend.  I need to go shopping but I don't have the money right now.  Maybe God will intervene and let there be funds in the bank account of the jerk I sued because the sheriff has already made the attempt to freeze his bank account, or at least the account that I know he used to have.  Now if there is money in there and if it is still an active account of his has yet to be seen.  That would be awesome.



My job for today is to go to the local sherrif's station and present my writ of execution on the judgement I was awarded.  The long process may actually pay off soon.  The jerk who stiffed me at the wrong time is going to see that I am not paid top dollar for what I do for nothing. 


I left my job.  I just left it. 

I Didn't Do It

Making It Happen


Poll #974388 SPRING FEVER

Is it cool to hook up with a previous two-night stand to help get over somebody else


 My weekend sucked!  



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June 2007


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